My work stinks, literally....................

Yes, I am afraid so...Naturally, my job as a hard core 10-key operator stinks, but today, it actually, literally stunk......

As I returned from lunch, I clocked in and turned the corner to my cubicle amidst a sea-of-cubicles, and I was met by the most pungent of odors. OK, let me create a word picture for you, since there is no smellavision on this PC....

Think of your favorite crock pot....Now, fill it with puke from your newly pregnant wife, best friend or whomever you may know that is or ever has had morning sickness....Now, turn it to high and let it start to simmer....But, before you put the lid on, go and find a used sock of your little brother's, dad's, husband's or anyone else you may know that has really nasty, smelly feet, and throw it in the pot...Finally, cover and simmer and leave your home...Return in 8 hours or so and breath deeply.......

So, you get the idea...That is about as close as I could come to the wretched smell that was permeating my place of employment this afternoon. My cubicle conveniently happens to be located near the dock of the building where they bring in supplies, etc., but it is also the place where the trash compactor happens to be, which obviously has not seen any soap or a hose for quite sometime. ....

I thought I would eventually get used to it, but after 3 hours of smelling it, I was ready to get away from the evil, evil stench.

There was one bright spot of the smell, though. This just happened to be the day that they were feeding us our free Thanksgiving dinner of pressed turkey cold cuts, instant mashed potatoes and instant dressing. (I passed on this and went to Taco Bell). But, every department also brought side dishes and desserts to go with the free fare. For some reason, several of my associates lost their appetites for the food they had brought. I don't know why I find this amusing, but I do..Sick sense of humor, I guess.

See you on the other side (I've heard the grass is greener over there!!)........

Punk Drummer

I couldn't find a good picture of the Pinewood Derby so I thought I would post this picture of the best drummer in the world. He rocks!

I admit it. I'm an Eagles fan, unfortunately.........

There I was watching Monday Night Football last night, my favorite game of the year--Cowboys vs. Eagles in Philadelphia. I love the Eagles. They are my favorite NFL team. I don't know why, as I have never been to Philly, but ever since I watched them play on MNF when I was 12, they have been my favorite team. Anyway, there was 9:15 left in the game and the Eagles are up 20-7 over stinking Dallas. So...I decide, "It's late. I'm going to go to bed, now. My Eagles have the game in hand. No problem."

So, that's what I did. I went to bed. Then I get up and watch SportsCenter this morning and guess what? Dallas won the game 21-20. What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Apparently, Dallas came back and scored 14 points in the final 3 minutes of the game and Philly's David Akers for some reason could not make a 61-yard field goal with no time left to give Philly the win. BLIMEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I know most of you who are reading this could care less about sports, but, hey, it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. My Hogs stink, my Eagles stink....I've got to get a new football team.

See you in the locker room....

Why do people insist on talking about nothing......?

So, here is my question of the day...

Why do people insist on talking about nothing? Useless, blah, blah, blah, blah..ALL DAY LONG!!!

I came to the realization about a week ago that I was wasting several hours of my day, especially at work, engaged in meaningless, uninspiring conversations. So, at work, I decided that I would no longer talk to anyone, unless it involved work. Of course, this garnered a reaction from my fellow "associates" (that's Wal-Mart speak for unappreciated slaves). One of my fellow "associates" had to take on the responsibility for the rest of the group and ask me what my problem was. I informed them that I had no problem, but that I had chosen to focus on my work while at work, instead of being social. (I realize that this is a novel concept and some of you reading it are probably checking your Huggies right now, but it is true. I have actually been going to work and spending 8 hours just WORKING...Nothing else.) Of course, to my fellow associates this was incomprehensible and unacceptable. I think it actually made some of them a little angry. After the first day they asked me if they had done something wrong or upset me in some way. This leads me to another question..........

Why do people want to turn a decision you make into something concerning them? Are we all really that self-centered that we can't see past ourselves to realize that 95% of the decisions that others make DO NOT CONCERN US!! As I explained to those who work around me: I am not angry or upset, I am not looking for another job, I am happy, I like all of you, I am not depressed, It has nothing to do with any of you... I just made the decision that I would be more productive at work, the day would go by faster and I would never have to worry that I was saying something stupid if I kept my mouth shut and just did my work.

So, I managed this "working only" feat for all of last week and today, and it is amazing how much I was able to get done. And, I've found by not talking all day at work, I feel like talking to my wife and kids more when I get home. It may not be a lot more, but it is more. I am able to focus better at work, and I don't have to get caught up in the many mini-soap operas of my co-workers.

Oh, well. That was my soap box for today. I'll step down now.

********ON A SIDE NOTE......The Jolio and I are on a race to health with a prize for the winner at the end. We plan on losing some weight, and whoever reaches their goal first gets to claim the prize. The Jolio thought of it, and I think it will be a fun way to get in shape and be healthy together.

We'll be back in 2 and 2 (that's for you Chuck W.)

Aaaaahhh!!! The Weekend..........

This has been an extremely long week, so I welcome the weekend with open arms....

WELCOME WEEKEND, WELCOME!!!

Why the inside of the truck.............?

As I was leaving work today, I noticed something strange and highly unexplainable.....

I was getting in my truck and I happened to look over at the truck beside me. And that is when I saw it--camoulflage INSIDE of the truck. The camo was not on the outside, but on the INSIDE. There was a camoulflage seat cover, steering wheel cover, the shades were covered in camo, etc.

So, I'm thinking in what crazy messed up world would you need camo on the inside of your vehicle? Is this for the time when your sitting out in the deer woods in your truck and a big ol' buck comes strolling up to the non-camouflaged exterior of your truck, and you don't want him to see you sitting inside. I'm sure this is a very efficient way of hunting.

(Please imagine the next dialogue being said by a tobacco chewing redneck for the right effect :)) "That stupid deer will never see me hiding in here. He'll think this truck is empty. And when he opens up that thar door to climb on in, that is when I'll make my move and shoot that sucker right 'tween the eyes." Now, I realize that I live in Arkansas and that deer season with automatic weapons just began this weekend. But, come on!!! I thought I had seen everything, but I never thought that I would see the inside of a vehicle decorated with elements of hiding. I could maybe understand if the ENTIRE vehicle was covered in camo for the purpose of disguising the vehicle in the woods, but with just the inside decorated, my disbelief is stirred.

Well, enough rambling about that....As I said yesterday, we had the Pinewood Derby last night and Punk won. Well, he actually won his age division, which of course in our little church means he was the only one in the division, but he was excited, regardless.

We got some pictures of it, and I will try and convince my fellow jolio to post some later tonight.

See you tomorrow...

We're Off to the Races.........

No, no..Do not be confused. I have not all of the sudden turned into a NAS"bore" fan. We are having Pinewood Derby races tonight at church.

It is great to have a Senior Pastor who is not afraid to do something out of the ordinary. Tonight, I am going to lead worship and then, IN THE SANCTUARY, we are going to have a pinewood derby race. The kids have been working on their cars for the past couple of months on Wednesday nights, and to show our support for their hard work, we have reserved tonight's service to watch them race and yell for their cars to win. Should be fun.

Anyway, I am going to attempt to update this site daily. I may not have much to say, but it will be good to practice my typing skills.

Bye..

Back to civilized (somewhat) society.....

Well, we made it back from our Mickey Mouse tour of the Caribbean...It was fun, but I kind of felt blah most of the trip. Then when we got back I got a touch of the flu, so that was fun. But, I think the worst is over now. I think Punk and Claw really enjoyed it...They were not ready to come back (especially to school:))....

I realized that my favorite part of going on vacations is getting the opportunity to observe people. And, wow, there are a lot of different types of people in this great big world of ours. I have decided that the most annoying people I have observed, however, have to be from the New England/New York area. I don't know if it is the accent, the volume or the speed of their speech, but their voices just grate on my bare bones. It's as if a knife were being ground into my eardrum and repeatedly ripped in and out until I can no longer stand it, and wish I had no ears!!!!

Okay, that may have been a little extreme. But, it also seemed that every person I encountered with that lovely lack of "r" in their words, was also pushy and rude. So, it was good to be home, where people talk normal. That's right...I just said that us folks from Arkansas speak normal. Gee howdy, ya'll. (just kidding). But, I will never understand how the word "car" ends up sounding like the mating call of a large black bird (kah). Or how the word "hamburger" sounds like the nose candy from a certain cured meat (hambooguh).

Well enough of the bad-mouthing of no R's speaking Yankees. We are just getting back to our routine of work, church and sports. The kids both start basketball in a couple of weeks, so at the moment we are inbetween sports, which is nice.

That is about all I have for now...I will try to update more regularly so those people in St. Louis, you know who you are, don't make anymore comments :)

On the road again.........

My favorite time of day...

So, what is my favorite time of day?

My favorite time of day is coming home and taking off my work clothes and changing into comfortable "lay-around-the-house" clothes.

So, why is this my favorite time of day, you ask? If you ask, then I shall answer. It is my favorite time of day, because the most hated part of my day is getting dressed for work in the morning. So, I thought it only fair, since they are polar opposites, that getting out of those clothes would make it my favorite. (blah, blah, blah, blah)

QUICK INTERRUPTION--While I was typing this post, my wife just had me sign some type of document. She said, "You need to sign under your name." I said, "What am I signing?" She said, "Oh, nothing...." So, if something happens to me in the next few days I just wanted to make all who read this aware of this "signing". :)

OK back to the party.....So, why is getting dressed in the morning my most hated part of the day, you ask again. (You are getting kind of pushy with all of these questions!!) OK, the reason I hate getting dressed in the morning is because when you are six-foot three-inches tall, weigh 340lbs. and have short legs, a long torsoe and a broad chest, YOU CAN'T FIND AN ENTIRE OUTFIT THAT FITS WELL!!! I always end up with pants that are too short, or a shirt that is too short. Or, I'll have two or three of the EXACT same pants and shirts, same brand, same size, but different colors and they don't fit the same. How annoying is that. Now, granted I realize that I could lose weight (easier said than done, by the way. I have been trying for 10 years) and find better fitting clothes. But, why can't I go to a store and find clothes that fit.

I guess my real problem is with clothing manufacturers and public facilities in general. I can not go into a store in a mall or even Wal-Mart and find clothes that fit. I either have to go to the Big & Tall section or order through a catalog and hope it fits when it comes in. Then, once I have the clothing, it usually fits the first time I wear it, but after you dry it, they make everything to shrink and it always shrinks up, so it is not long enough anymore. And, on top of that, they charge you almost DOUBLE what people pay for "regular-sized" clothes. Now, someone please explain to me why a couple more inches around the waste costs TWICE as much. Did that really double the amount of fabric and labor put into making the clothing? I doubt it.

Along with not being able to find clothes that fit, I have a hard time with seats. They don't make seats for people with a wide load in the back. Even though, the MAJORITY of Americans are overweight. I have to ask for a table at the restaurant because the booths are too small. The last airplane that I rode in, I had to ask for a seatbelt extender, because the seatbelt would not go all the way around me. Again, I know that this is my fault for not eating better or exercising enough, but there have to be more people than me out there who struggle with this.

Which brings me to our vacation. We will be flying on an airplane. Hopefully, this airline has enough sense to boost their average passenger girth when they measured their seatbelts. Once I get past the flights, I think I will be able to relax and enjoy my vacation. But, I hate thinking about squeezing into those little seats and sitting there squished for 4 hours.

Anyway, I will step down from the giant soap box now and move on with my day...I feel better.

Until we meet again........

The Countdown Has Begun...

The countdown has begun...to VACATION!!!

Now, I am as excited as the rest of my family to be going on vacation this week, but Claw and Punk started the official countdown a few days ago...

"Only 8 days left..only 8 days left..only 8 days left...only 8 days left"..All of this was in a span of about 14 minutes. (Just an approximation:))

Of course every day since then they have had to inform us how many days are left. Punk has been trying hard the last week to meet his AR goal before we left, because he will miss a week of school before the 9 weeks is over...And, he told me today he made it. Way to go punk!!!

I hope this vacation turns out to be as exciting as they are anticipating. We are going on a Disney Cruise and then spending a day at Disney World...Of course, Disney World is my favorite place on earth. I am pretty sure I could live there. No really, it is my plan, if my wife will let me, to retire down there and get a job working there part time, so I can get in for free and spend my free time there. I haven't quite figured out what is so great about it. Is it the smell? Is it the sights? Is it all the Disney "stuff"? I don't know, but I haven't gotten tired of it yet. This will be my second cruise and my fourth time at the World. I can't wait....

So, secretly, I began the countdown long before my children started to vocalize there anticipation...

Only 5 days left, only 5 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trivial Questions for God When I Get There..........

I was thinking about some not-so-important questions I would like to ask God when I get to meet Him face to ground (me on the ground in front of His face).....

• The first and most important question I would ask is...WHY DID YOU CREATE WASPS?!! What are they good for, besides stinging the tar out of you. Oh, yes, I have heard the "they are pollinators" argument, but really, can't the bees and butterflies take care of that. Do we really need wasps? Come on, really?
• Why is the sky blue? Why not purple, red, orange? Why did you pick blue?
• Did you really create dinosaurs, or did you just make up some bones and bury them in the ground just to mess with us?
• Have you ever tasted popcorn and when you created it, was it your intent for people to pop it? (this is nasty, nasty tasting stuff)
• Are you a Ford or a Chevy kind of guy?
• What style of music do you like? Do you like to rock or rap? Do you like jazz, blues, hip-hop? Country? Gospel? Or are you like me, you just like them all?
• Do you like dogs or cats better?
• Are there vehicles in heaven? And if so, is there crazy traffic like here in Northwest Arkansas? The traffic here is terrible.
• Do you like sports? I see a lot of athletes praying before they play or thanking you after they do something good...But do you really care?
• If man is created in your image, how come we all look so different? We are different sizes, shapes, colors, etc...

I am sure that these questions are meaningless and pointless and don't really matter in the broad scheme of things, but they would be fun and interesting to ask anyway......

Until we meet again.........

Willy Wonka and 200 squirming kids....

Let me tell you a little story about a man named Willy...Wonka that is...the candyman...

Last night, we went as a family and watched a production of Willy Wonka at the Walton Arts Center...It was a good show, however, I noticed something different than the other productions I have seen, both on Broadway and off....

KIDS...KIDS EVERYWHERE!!!! Now, granted, I had my own kids with me, but watching a stage production with 200-300 kids under age 10 in the audience was an interesting experience....

As I looked out across the crowd during the show, I noticed waves, small flowing waves all throughout the theater. No, there was not a fire, and no the sprinklers had not come on, these were little human waves. Squirming, turning, up and down going to the bathroom-the room was in constant motion. And then there were the little whispers and small voices, all those little constant voices. And you can't quite make out exactly the words or the sentences those words are making, but you hear them. OH, do you ever hear them..........

So, I've come to the conclusion that what I saw was a tiny human ocean. The waves, the sounds of the surf coming in and out, and every once in awhile a large cascading wave that would drift right in front of you, up and down the aisle as the wave made its way to the porcelain ponds.

But, overall it was fun (I'm a huge WW fan, so I loved it automatically) and made for some interesting observations...

Until next time......

Everything You Never Wanted to Know....

It's true, here is everything you probably never wanted to know about our family...

We are Christians. By Christians, I mean we strive to live as Christ lived on a daily basis. We accept that Jesus Christ was the son of the one and only true God and that because of God's immense love for us, He sent Jesus to earth as a man. As a man, He chose to die on a cross for our sins, because that is the only way our debt, as sinners, could be paid. He then rose again three days later as He said he would. He then returned to heaven, but left the Holy Spirit with us to be our guide and comforter until He returns. We believe that no one comes to God, except through accepting the free gift that Christ offers. We believe that if you repent of your sins, that God is faithful to forgive those sins and cleanse your heart from all that is wrong. He will then fill your life with joy and you will spend eternity with Him in heaven....

We live in Northwest Arkansas. Home of Wal-Mart, Tyson Foods, J.B. Hunt and lots of other commerce. We live in one of the fastest growing areas in the nation. My wife and I were both born and raised here and plan to raise our children here. It is beautiful country, with most people still holding on to strong Southern values of taking care of your family and your neighbors. However, NW Arkansas is seeing an influx of transplants from all over the nation and the world, which makes for a very diverse and ecclectic culture. And, unfortunately, a loooooooot of traffic!!! Way, way, way too much traffic. But, I will save this discussion for another post.....

So, then we come to the question that everyone seems to have to ask when they meet someone new...WHAT DO YOU DO? What do I do? I assume they mean for income or a career? So, I will answer it as follows....My "career", my calling rather, is as a worship leader. Currently, I am the Worship Pastor at Lowell Assembly of God Church in Lowell, Arkansas. I have served in this position for about 15 months. My "job" or my "source of income" is with the Direct Imports department of the Logistics division of Wal-Mart. Basically, I pay Ocean Freight bills by typing numbers into a computer and solving problems that come up with those numbers ALL DAY! VERY BORING!!! But, it pays the bills and allows me time to work on my music...My wife's "job" is working part time for Mercy Health doing charge entry and sometimes working as a cashier in the after hours clinic. Her "career" is raising our children and taking care of our home. I don't know what we would do without her....My kids are full-time students in Elementary School..My daughter plays soccer and soon basketball and softball. My son is the drummer on my worship team at church and sings in the choir at school. He also plays basketball and soon baseball.

Now, there is one more individual that lives with us in our home that I have yet to mention. She is about two foot tall standing, has brown coloring, short hair, very attentive and protective, she has four legs....OK if you haven't guessed it by now, I am talking about our princess, our one and only pet, Brownie. She is the best dog in the world. Of course, I am a little biased. But, hey, whose blog is this anyway!! :)

That's enough for now...If you are still awake to read this, check back later for daily updates. I plan for this to be a place to discuss current events, funny stories or daily happenings of our family. It should be interesting.

Stay tuned.........

The family 

Welcome...

Okay...First, let me explain the title. All nicknames:

My daughter is Claw...She is a 6-year old, beautiful, intelligent first grader (takes after her mother :))...So, why Claw? Her nickname comes from me. Since she was old enough to understand, I have been giving her a "claw" gesture with my hand as a form of greeting. Most people wave at each other, but not us. We give "the claw". In the years following the origination of the original claw, many other claws evolved. Along with the regular claw, we have the junior claw, the baby claw, the tiny claw, the lobster claw, the giant claw, and several others. So, eventually I just started calling her claw. I tried to change her nickname to "Beautiful" a few months ago, but she didn't like it...She still lets me get away with "Claw" for now...

My son is Punk...He is an 8-year old, way too smart for his own good, handsome, musically talented third grader (who mostly takes after his dad, I'm afraid :))...Punk? I am trying to remember how this nickname came to be, but am drawing a blank. But, he answers to it and it is a term of endearment in our house.

My wife and I are the Couple of Jolios...We are a husband and wife who have been married for eleven years now and are 29 and 30, respectively. We also happen to be the proud parents of the above Claw and Punk, who are 20 months apart. I know, I know..two in diapers at once!! We must be crazy. (Talk to God about this one!! :)). Jolio (pronounced Ho-lee-o) originated, as I shamefully admit, from the ever so popular irreverant cartoon of the '90s, "Beavis and Butthead". Beavis, after a large dose of sugar, would put his shirt over his head and say in a Latino-type accent, "I am Cornjolio..I need tp for my bunghole!" I know what you are thinking. Dumb, stupid show. I agree, but I was a dumb stupid kid when I watched it. Anyway, we had a little chihuahua at the time, and we started calling him Copper Jolio. Somehow, from that we started calling each other "Jolio"...We don't call each other sweeetheart, baby, sugarplum or any other nauseating nicknames you see on sitcoms or romantic comedies. We also don't use each other's name unless we are talking to someone else about each other. In fact, it sounds really weird when I use my wife's real name....I can't even say all of the syllables..It just kind of runs all together.

Anyway, that is us....If you are reading this, you probably know us or somehow found us...Either way, welcome to our humble site. In the next post, I'll tell you where we live and what we are about...It should be real exciting..Just try and stay awake. Or not, feel free to take a nap if you need to. Naps are good !!!!! See you next time. :)